- Winter
Tour, Entry I. Jupiter, Florida. January 30, 2013.
- "Goodbye
sunshine, hello winter tour"
Dear
amigo.moe.litos,
I'm staring at an empty suitcase wondering what to
pack. It's been a couple of weeks since your favorite band, moe.,
has been out on the road, as it were. Mainly, because "the
road" was a 14-story luxury barge and we were afloat somewhere
out in the Bermuda Triangle. The band played amidst a hedonistic
fury akin to the Khan sweeping across the Eurasian steppes. On
any tide, I half expected the boat to slip into a time portal
or dimensional rift. Not that anyone would have noticed until
the booze ran out. I for one was grateful the fabric of the time-space
continuum didn't breach. I had a cold and a sore throat, and it
would have been a real bummer to be lost in time and sickly, especially
when the frozen Marguerites ran out.
The
sore throat also negated any urge I had to partake in one of my
favorite pastimes: smoking cigars. For weeks I had envisioned
picking up a handful of Cubans (cigars, i.e.) upon arrival in
the Turks and Caicos. But it was not meant to be. I'm not sure
if I could have even lit one. The wind was constant and fierce.
All the islands that constitute the Turks and Caicos are windy.
They're low-lying and, mostly, right at sea level. The ocean breeze
never ceases-for want of a mountain, a ridge, a hill, or even
a dune, to break the steady pummeling across the face. We're so
low, it's as though the islands are floating at sea, but stationary.
I know some of you are thinking, why not simply buy a bunch of
Cubans (cigars, i.e.) for later? When my throat wasn't sore and
the wind wasn't pummeling me. The answer is: I would have had
to smuggle them back into the country. I would have placed myself
at risk for detention and a large fine, but also compromised your
said favorite band, who, as you may recall, was rushing to a venue
in Ft. Lauderdale to play that evening. No, smuggling Cubans (cigars,
i.e.) into the country was not worth the risk. It is prohibited
by law because Cuba, as you know, is a Communist country. And
in the USA, it is against the law to do business with a Communist
country. Unless, of course, the country is the other Communist
country on the planet: China. In which case, it is not only okay
to do business with them, but to near wholesale our entire industrial
and manufacturing base to them under the pretense that American
workers demand too much. Even Henry Ford knew that the success
of his new-fangled automobile was dependent on its affordability:
to the people who built the car.
Make
certain, I have nothing against doing business with any country--even
with Communist China or Cuba! It's a big world and our economy
is and should be global. Besides, it's good to see the Commies
embracing quasi-Capitalism as much as we've embraced that brand
of quasi-Communism. As the old Chinese proverb states: when it
comes to business--all men are brothers. (In America, we call
it, "selling out.")
Alas,
if only the Chinese made cheap Cuban cigars, too-along with cheap
Christmas ornaments, shoes, shirts, pants, hats, Bibles, American
flags, pens, pencils, iPhone or iPad or i-anything else--my dilemma
would be solved. Then, I could embrace the hypocrisy, have myself
a Cuban (cigar, i.e.), and maybe finish packing. Tomorrow's a
travel day. NYC awaits me, and all good things that follow after.
For
now, truly yours,
brother John
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